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Final Exam Advice You Definitely Should NOT Follow

  • Don’t sleep more than 2-3 hours per night
  • Drink at least a gallon of coffee per day
  • Email your professor the day before the final paper is due and ask them where the paper instructions are located
  • Show up late to your math exam without your calculator
  • Spend the whole reading day binge watching Netflix
  • Miss the class where they introduce and go over the study guide
  • Go to your professors office hours and find out if there was a textbook for the course
  • Repeatedly ask your professor for a detailed list of the all the exam questions
  • Repeatedly ask your professor for the answer key to the exam
  • Ask your academic advisor to yell at your professor for being unfair
  • Make sure to bring your binoculars to the final so you can see what everyone else is writing
  • Read every test question out-loud at maximum volume
  • Take a nap in the bathroom during the exam
  • Start your essay at midnight the day before it’s due
  • Don’t go to the library. Whatever you do.
  • Study in Augie’s on a Friday night
  • Plan to take a multiple choice exam even if your professor told you it’s an essay
  • Ask Siri for the answers mid-exam
  • Sleep through your alarm clock – or better yet, just don’t set it
  • Tell your academic advisor you need an exception to the Withdrawal deadline ASAP
  • Tell your professor you need to take the exam a different time because your holiday break is starting early woohoo
  • Have your mom call the dean to insist you need more study time
  • Keep your mom on the phone through your ear bud so she can give you pep talks while you take your exam
  • Immediately ask your professor for extra credit when you turn in your final
  • Don’t put your name on your exam so they don’t know who to fail 
  • Don’t show your work on a math exam – let your final answers speak for themselves
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