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Opinion: Top 10 Grossest Foods Merrimack Has Served To Their Students

My goal in writing this is NOT to expose Merrimack for having awful food, because there are some great hard working people at Merrimack dining. Although, I did want to share with more people some of the gross food we have been served at Merrimack.

10. Cereal pizza

Yes, you read that correctly, our dining hall thought it would be a great idea to serve us pizza with dry cereal on it. It was gross to say the least. The cereal was stale and made the already undercooked pizza even worse. The best part is that our dinning provider thought they were so smart with this new pizza creation that they brought it back the very next day. Someone should tell them that cereal belongs in a bowl with milk, not on pizza. 

9. Black eyed peas

Will.i.am and Fergie… Nope, not the band. Almost every day for lunch Merrimack students are served Black eye peas. What is it? I have no clue nor do I want to try it. I want to live past 21, so for myself along with the rest of the Merrimack community will not be trying the food classified as black eyed peas.

8. Fish from Sparkys (dining hall)

Do you love a weirdly colored/shaped piece of fish that tastes sour and raw? If so you’ll love the fish that Merrimack serves us at our dining hall.

7. Water from Sparkys (dining hall)

After you take a long run on a hot spring day in North Andover, Mass., nothing hits harder than an ice cold glass of brown water from Sparkys. A couple years ago, the water from the soda machine was brown, not just a little dirty, it was dark brown. 

6. Bacon Cheeseburger

Last year, a bacon cheeseburger was on the menu, although that was not served. Students were fed two pieces of bread with a slice of unmelted cheese and an old piece of bacon. 

5. Extra firm tofu

What the hell is extra firm tofu? Not a single Merrimack student knows. Nevertheless, this dish is served every single day, for lunch and dinner. We can’t get well cooked food, but don’t worry we can get extra firm tofu 24/7. Even the vegetarians won’t touch this!

4. Uncooked pizza at the McQuade pizza cafe

Before I say anything, the pizza cafe has gotten a lot better and the pizza now is actually good. Although, we can’t let that distract us from the fact that undercooked pizza used to be served on a regular basis.

3. Rock hard grilled cheese

When looking for a really good grilled cheese sandwich, everyone wants unmelted cheese and rock hard bread, right? NO! Well, that’s what Sparkys serves. Everyone bangs the bread on the table and makes a sound like knocking on a door. 

2. Sparkys Baked Potato

To be fair this was only served once, although there are no excuses for how disgusting this was. There was this blue gooey stuff inside of the baked potato, what was it? I have no clue and honestly don’t want to know.

1. Mac and cheese in a cone

All college students want good macaroni and cheese served for dinner, although Merrimack dining decided to take our request to a whole nother level. They served us mac and cheese in an ice cream cone. I’ll say that again to let it sink in. They served mac and cheese in an ice cream cone. It was gross just in case you were wondering. All Merrimack College students want is decent, edible and well cooked food, is that too much to ask for?

Dishonorable mentions:

  • Moldy chicken caesar sandwich with no chicken and just lettuce
  • Soup with unknown objects in it
  • Bugs in the salad
  • Pizza with paper clips in it